Elboydny

I wrote a book based on the experience. This is an excerpt.

“I forgot everything I had ever thought about giving you away when you were placed in my arms. I wept all over your sleeping face. You were so tiny, so fragile and helpless. I drank every detail of you until I felt dizzy and giddy with the pleasure. I memorized every puckered expression on your face. I was your mother and it didn’t matter what was in front of us. We would be together. We would make it work. I could feed you, change you, work night and day to keep you. You were mine.”

Thirty years later I needed to know if that decision was truly the right one and went in search of the answer. I discovered that it was.

My daughter wrote me a letter describing her family, her schooling and the life she was living now. She was happy in what she was doing and happy to have had the family she did. She thought it was noble of me to give her up. For me, that was the greatest gift of all. I had no need to go further than this, and neither did she. We both were satisfied with the decision taken when my options were much less than they are today.

I now have three lovely daughters and a son and all are doing great. That’s the biggest source of happiness for any parent.

Thanks for posting this. It is an inspiration. Kalil Gibran, the Persian poet wrote, “Children are part of life’s longing for itself.” We are the slings from which the arrows fly. We do the best we can. That’s all we can ask of ourselves.

Jacqueline Wales is a motivational coach/consultant of Fearless Fifties. A midlife transition company.

I want to thank the person who wrote this blog.

And for Kathy up above, oh how I wish I know you when I placed my baby for adoption – people like you are the ones that will take adoption out of the black, closed era and into a new, loving light…..
Your words helped to close a crack in my soul around adoption and aparents. Thank you.

Dedicated to my youngest daughter and her birthmother.

I wrote her letters every year until my daughter started school. I still find myself whispering the latest news, hoping that somehow it will find it’s way to her. She would be so proud of this little one we share. A University sophomore, now, 5 feet tall, smart, beautiful, stubborn, and one of the world’s greatest procrastinators.

Is it 50/50? Nature versus Nurture? If so, then we would have a lot to discuss. What came from where? The stubbornness is up for grabs. Her beauty and charm, I definitely will have to concede.

I think about you a lot. Maybe more than our daughter does at this phase of her young exciting life. She is almost the same age as when you made this monumental decision. Would it have all been different if your circumstances at this age had been similar to hers?

The letters have never been read. When my daughter was twelve, we sent extra money to the agency asking that they try and find an updated address or contact. We were told that, after that first year, they had not been able to locate any forwarding information. At this time, my daughter says she is not interested in searching; but the connection between the three of us still exists.

A connection of courage and hope. That little one, wide eyed, trusting that love will help her become the best of whom God created her to be.
Each mother filled with a different type of courage.; hoping that love will conquer many of the obstacles in her path. We share this amazing young woman. I wish there was a way to reassure you that she has thrived with our love. An image of that connection came to me in a way that words could not express. So I made a visual verse from hundreds of scraps of fabric. A quilt that holds the courage and love that all three of us share.

Soon it will be my turn to let her go off into the world. Her wings are strong, her character solid, her choices wise. I will borrow your courage. She will continue to thrive. The 50/50 we have given her will be enough.

Kathy is the mother of two Korean born adopted children. She is an internationally award winning textile artist. The quilted image she made for her daughter is available as a limited edition print. For details contact: http://www.kathymcneilquilts.com