As you continue to read and learn about adoption, you may be noticing a lot of “titles” for the word birthmother. Birthmother, First mother, Lifemother, Natural Mother, Biological Mother – What do they all mean and why are their so many different titles? It can be a little confusing at first.

Before I delve into explanations of the different names, I must remind you that an expectant mother considering adoption is not a birthmother. A woman does not become a birthmother until after she signs the relinquishment papers. Also, this post is not meant to be a debate on which title is the best and most appropriate. Instead, the intent is to explain the different titles.

Birthmother is the most popular and used title. A lot of the general public understands this title, although I still occasionally come across people who have no clue what being a birthmother means.

The term “first mother” is kind of self explanatory if you look at it, right? It’s the first mom, the first person who loved the baby, cared for him/her, and made decisions for him/her.

Lifemother is a term made popular by fellow birthmom, Skye Hardwick, who runs a website for birthmothers coined after the term. It refers to the person who gave the baby life and is a mother, if not in the tangible sense, it some form, for the child’s entire life. Skye has a lengthy explanation on her site that explains why she likes the term lifemother for herself. My favorite portion of that explanation says,

'Life' in Lifemother represents the continuous role I have in my child's life - even if my adoption was closed, I will always pray for, and think about my beloved child.
'Life' in Lifemother represents the truth that my role did not end at birth, but continues for life.
'Life' in Lifemother represents the truth that even though I am not a parent to my child, I will always be one of her mothers; from near or afar.

Lastly, let’s talk about the term “natural mother.” I couldn’t find a whole lot of information about this term, except for the fact that it was one of the more original terms used in older adoptions for the most part. Some people said they didn’t like it because it made the relationship between the adoptive mother and child seem unnatural while others preferred the term because it recognized the natural connection between mother and child.
So, lots of different terms all used to describe one person!