Those of us who have been part of the adoption world for a while can forget that we did not always know what to call an adopted child’s biological parents or what a home study is. It is hard to follow any discussion if you are not familiar with the basic terminology, so this post is to define some basic adoption terms for you. If you spend much time reading posts by people in the adoption triad (I define that term below), you will notice that not everyone agrees on the correct terminology for various aspects of adoption. However, the terms that I have included in the post are generally accepted unless otherwise noted.

• Adoptee: A person who has been placed for adoption


• Adoption Plan: A birthparents’ decision to place a baby for adoption; use this term instead of “giving up” a child for adoption


• Adoption Triad: Refers to people involved in an adoption – the adoptee, the birthparents, and the adoptive parents


• Adoptive mother/father: Person who is parenting an adopted child


• Birthmother/Birthfather: Biological parent who has placed a child for adoption; only use this term after parental rights have legally terminated (First mother/father is also appropriate.)


• Choosing to Parent: When a woman who considered adoption while pregnant makes the choice to parent her child rather than place the child for adoption; use this term instead of "keeping the baby"


• Domestic Adoption: An adoption in which the adoptive parents adopt a child who was born in the same country


• Expecting Mother: A woman who is pregnant and considering placing her child for adoption; should not be called a birthmother because she retains her parental rights (There is some controversy surrounding the most respectful way to reference a pregnant woman who is considering placing a baby for adoption.)


• Foster Adoption: An adoption in which the adoptive parents adopt a child out of the foster care system


• International Adoption: An adoption in which the adoptive parents adopt a child from a different country; use this term instead of “foreign adoption”


• Level of Openness: The amount of contact existing between a birthmother and an adoptive family after the adoption (A fully open adoption might include visits; a fully closed adoption often keeps even first names confidential. A semi-open adoption falls somewhere between the two extremes.)

To any member of the adoption triad reading this post – What other terms would you add to this list for people who are new to adoption? Feel free to leave your terms and definitions in the comments.

There are several different lists of adoption language, none of which everyone can agree upon. See the following topics for an overview of these terms:

• The Importance of Positive Adoption Language



• Adoption Sensitive Language



• The Adoption Word Game PAL, RAL, or HAL?



• More On Adoption Language



• Respectful Adoption Language